WWE Vintage Collection Report: August 26th 2012
By Shaun Best-Rajah.com Reporter
Hosted by: Mean Gene Okerlund

We wind up our “Best in the World” series with a trip to the beautiful suburbia called “parts unknown.” I smell some Wrestlecrap coming our way.

WWF Prime Time Wrestling: July 23rd 1985
The Missing Link vs Tony Garea
Blue and Green face paint, bits of hair sticking out at the side. It’s the Boogeyman of the 80s! Speaking of missing, the Link’s manager Bobby Heenan has high tailed it to the back before the bell has even rung. Link repeatedly bashes his head into a wooden chair and the wooden steps. “Tell me that guy’s elevator goes all the way to the top.” (Gene Okerlund) “Absolutely not!” (Gorilla Monsoon) Link positions his elbow at the side of his head as he attacks Garea. Link rams his own head into the turnbuckles. Garea scores with a dropkick and front first irish whip. Link turns back around to elbow Garea to the mat. Link hits a splash from the second rope for the 1-2-3. Winner: THE MISSING LINK. After Heenan sold Link’s contract to Jimmy Hart, he only stuck around for a couple of months. Despite beating jobbers, the Link regularly lost to established stars. The man behind the paint, Dewey Robertson unfortunately passed away in 2007 after a long battle with cancer.

WWF Prime Time Wrestling – Face to Face Special: February 20th 1989
WWF Tag Team Titles: Demolition vs The Powers of Pain w/Mr Fuji
Demolition had agreed to fight the Powers of Pain and Fuji at WrestleMania V in a first of its kind type of match for the tag titles. Demolition wins a slugfest and clothesline Warlord. Ax taunts Fuji the “stooge” as he holds Warlord in a head vice. Smash misses a charge at Barbarian and gets planted with a big boot, but quickly trips the big man to regain control. Demolition unloads on the PoP with their trusted double sledge attacks. Fuji smacks the back of Ax’s leg with his cane to save Warlord from a throttling. Warlord holds Ax for some more shots from Fuji’s cane on the floor. The PoP resort to illegal chokes. Barbarian delivers a shoulderbreaker, before foreign resthold of doom, the nerve hold comes into play.

Warlord posts Ax on the floor. Fuji uses his cane as a weapon once more. Ax manages to telegraph a Warlord backbodydrop and make the hot tag. Smash slams and clotheslines the PoP, before hotshotting Warlord across the top rope. Barbarian breaks up a pin and tosses Ax. The PoP hit Smash with a Hart Attack/Doomsday Device combo. Ax makes the save, before attacking Fuji on the apron. While referee Joey Marella deals with Fuji, Ax gets hold of the cane and gives the PoP a beating. Marella turns back around to see Fuji blind Ax with salt to the eyes and calls for the bell. Fuji breaks the cane across Smash’s back and the challengers leave the champions in a heap. Demolition would go on to win at WrestleMania, but it’s still surprising that the PoP never got even a small tag title reign during their tenure. Winners via DQ: DEMOLITION.

WWF Prime Time Wrestling: December 3rd 1990
Battle Kat vs Boris Zhukov
Semi-regular jobber Brady Boone donned a cat mask along with an Orange and Purple singlet (complete with cat paw on the back) to bring us Battle Kat. The Kat shows off his gymnastic background by doing a backflip in the ring. Kat starts off fast with a couple of armdrags, monkey flip and dropkick to send Zhukov to the floor. Kat follows up with a side kick and backflip/elbow combo in the corner. Zhukov tries to “skin the cat,” according to Lord Alfred Hayes, as he rakes the Kat’s back. Zhukov applies a chinlock, “twisting the life out of this Kitty,” as described by Sean Mooney. Kat recovers to land a mounted assault in the corner. Zhukov boots Kat, but Kat comes back with a cross body for two. Kat ducks under a clothesline and catches Zhukov with a thesz press for the pin. Winner: BATTLE KAT. The gimmick didn’t last long and the man under the mask, Dean Peters was released. Peters made fleeting appearances under the Brady Boone moniker in WCW, before being tragically killed in an automobile accident in December 1998. Battle Kat’s short legacy lives on today through an inspired Rob Van Dam, who uses some of Kat’s moves as a tribute for Kat helping RVD get booked in Japan earlier in his career.

WWF Superstars: February 27th 1993
Doink The Clown vs Big Boss Man
Doink clobbers Boss Man with a loaded gift box. Doink follows up with a neckbreaker, then shows off his wrestling ability, employing some holds on the mat. A drop toehold leads to a half crab and crossface. Doink delivers a back suplex, before targeting an arm with a chickenwing. Doink makes the mistake of going high risk, as Boss Man throws him to the mat. Boss Man clotheslines Doink into the corner, boots him down and unloads with punches. Boss Man hits a running spike in the ropes, before sliding under the ropes to plant the clown in the face. Boss Man splashes Doink in the corner. Doink reaches into his coat and squirts Boss Man with green liquid from a gun. Doink covers for the 1-2-3, but referee Joey Marella takes one look at the blinded Boss Man and reverses his decision. Doink attacks the fallen Boss Man in what would be Boss Man’s last WWF appearance for over five years. Winner via DQ: BIG BOSS MAN.

In segments lifted from the hatchet job that was the “Self Destruction of the Ultimate Warrior” DVD, several superstars poke fun at Warrior and speculate on where “parts unknown” really is.

WWF Coliseum Home Video Exclusive: June 3rd 1992
Ultimate Warrior & Undertaker w/Paul Bearer vs Papa Shango & Berzerker w/Mr Fuji
Somewhat of a Dream match between a who’s who from “parts unknown.” Earlier in the year, Berzerker tried to impale Undertaker with his Viking sword, while Shango had allegedly placed a curse on the Warrior. Berzerker is seen munching on an Ultimate Warrior fan sign during Warrior’s entrance. Warrior and Undertaker stand face to face before booting down their opposition. Undertaker clotheslines Berzerker to the floor. Warrior has a little difficulty as he does the same to Shango. Undertaker uses a gloved hand to choke Berzerker in the corner. Berzerker sidesteps a charge and dropkicks Undertaker to the floor. The Deadman lands on his feet, pulls Berzerker out and sends him head first into the steel steps. Warrior takes over, mowing Berzerker down a couple of times until Shango jams his voodoo stick into Warrior’s back.

Warrior takes a beating in the heel corner for a few minutes. Berzerker ties Warrior up in the ropes. Joey Marella frees Warrior in time so that he can elevate Berzerker to the floor. Undertaker sidesteps a Berzerker boot and dishes out a chokeslam. Shango receives a flying clothesline. Undertaker thwarts a double team, goozling both around the neck, before pushing them into the path of a Warrior double clothesline. Warrior revs his engines. A flying tackle and running splash to Berzerker is enough for the 1-2-3. Warrior and Undertaker hook hands in a muted celebration as Berzerker staggers and falls out of the ring. Winners: ULTIMATE WARRIOR & UNDERTAKER.

Craptastic! Some goofy gimmicks on show, but we can’t be serious all the time. A “Month of Champions” theme begins next week.

Any comments or discussion points drop me a line at shaunmb1@hotmail.com.

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